Brett Gardner: I wanna go fast.
Robinson Cano and Melky Cabrera: SHAKE and BAKE!
Derek Jeter: Hey! It’s me, America!
Mariano Rivera: Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
CC Sabathia to AJ Burnett: But maybe, just maybe. You might challenge me. The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?
Jose Veras: With all due respect, I didn’t realize you’d gotten experimental surgery to get your balls removed.
Carl Pavano: Hey, look…I thought about it. So why don’t you go ahead and break my arm?
Brian Cashman to Carl Pavano: I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you.
In regards to retiring Billy Martin’s number 1: You can’t have two number ones. Yeah, ’cause that’d be like…eleven.
Rickey Henderson: ...It’s the fastest who gets paid, and it’s the fastest who gets laid!
David Wells on his perfect game: I’m all jacked up on Mountain Dew! (And by Mountain Dew he means Coors Light…Easy to get the Mountains confused…)
Roger Clemens on his fastball: America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed.
“One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth.”
“Old Man, I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey!”
Aaron Boone after his 03 ALCS Game 7 homerun: What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That JUST happened!
George Steinbrenner’s Yankee Motto: If you ain’t first, you’re last. (Unless, of course, you’re playing rakeback, then you salvage something.)
