Dear 6 pound 8 ounce baby Joba,
In your pinstriped fleece diapers, learning about all your curveballs and four seamers. We ask you to deliver us to victory, to pump the fist of victory as a historic path is plowed. May each patriotic Yank reap the benefits of the dirt, and grass, and fences. May each Bomber fly go yard, and each Yankee dribbler get past the midget who was the most undeserving MVP since Justin Morneau. May the bats of big fat lying former steroid users that can’t man the field be gentle, yet may Kate Hudson deliver the will for a troubled soul to reach history of Harmon-ic proportions. Let the seams of red that stitch the hide of history fall beyond the shortened porches of the right, yet only from those who swing at the hurls of an aging Atlantan traitor. May the sea of stripes shout and jump as captains throw and jump and machine-xeiras pick. With runners in a position to score may senor cano piensa “Dontcha Know!” May the Sterling-est silver voice turn “The” into a ten syllable word as victory ignites a fire in the heart of America. May each play put a smile upon the face of the Big Stein, the greatest leader of the past 40 years. Down from the Bleachers may cheer the creatures. A name in unison, a team together. For in the Bronx, Baseball is better. Dear savoir Joba, bless the world. Please take the frowns of angry New Yorkers and swap them for smug grins powered by joy. Joba please, let the old guard thrive. No life is true without a Jeter, a Mo, and a hip hip JORGE! May Jose prove to be even better than his brothers. Let A-Rod hear cheers and not demonstrative blues. The Yankees of New York need to see their W’s mount, their crowds cheer, and success play out before the eyes. No longer are the days of soulless play. For now, the Bronx boasts the liveliest, most amiable, friendliest, most caring clubhouse of characters in baseball. From Jolly Man to Fighting Chicken, to American Heroes, to Melkmen and our 6 Pound 8 Ounce savior: the Bronx is changed. The Bronx is best. And to you Joba we ask….May the Bronx be Blessed!
