Everybody’s favorite trade rumor junkie, Tim Dierkes, spent some time brainstorming Big Z-to-anywhere-but-the-North-Side scenarios earlier today. Most of the ideas, he admitted, weren’t plausible. He made one suggestion though, that I actually see some merit to: Big Z to Queens for Ollie P. and Luis Castillo.

We all know that when Milton Bradley went to Seattle and back came Carlos Silva, everyone was all “Oh Jack Z, so brilliant, so smart, so genius!” Then Bradley didn’t do much in Seattle, and Silva’s tearing up the NL Central. Perhaps, Oliver Perez could find himself enjoying the N. Side too.

Let’s look at $$$ for one second:

Via Cot’s we learn that Oliver Perez will make $12mm this year, and the same amount in ’11 before he hits free agency. Luis Castillo will make $6.25mm this year, and that same amount next year. Carlos (not to be mistaken with the baby from the Hangover, who is much more well behaved) Will bring in $18.875mm this year, the same amount next year, $19mm in 2012 (pending the accuracy of the Mayan calendar), and then he has a vesting option based on Cy Young votes in ’11 and ’12 that would bring him back for $19.25mm in ’13. That option, as of now, looks pretty unlikely to ever vest. Wee bit of math here $12mm + $6.25mm = $18.25mm. The difference in salaries is pretty much negligible; the only issue being that Zambrano is signed for a year longer than Luis and Oliver.

Why does this deal make sense? The Cubs have Mike Fontenot and Ryan Theriot, who are both equal to or better than Luis Castillo with the bat and the glove…right now at least. Luis had a great year in ’09 with a .302/.387/.346 line. He’s been under-performing thus far in ’09, and is currently nursing a bruised heal, but he obviously has potential, and thus could be a handy player to have on the club when MF and RT struggle. Also, he makes the salary swaps fairly even, which helps get the deal done. As for Ollie, he’s obviously done in NY. The fans are mad at him, he wouldn’t go to triple-A. He’s pitching terribly. He needs a change of scenery (a la Silva). Ollie P. obviously can be a great pitcher, but he just isn’t right now. Carlos Z has had his last Chicago meltdown. Lou Pineilla and Jim Hendry want him out; he’s Milton Bradley 2.0. Zambrano has pitched well in recent years and is only 29. He’s still got talent, but, he needs out of Chicago. So swap two struggling starters, throw in a 2B to even it up a bit, and you have a deal. The Mets need another arm anyways, and there’s a better chance that Zambrano pans out for them than there is that Perez does. If you’re thinking: oh no, who would play 2B at CitiField, look at Ruben Tejada who isn’t doing too shabby filling in right now: he’s hiting .333 in his past ten games. The 20 year old is young, and could prove to be a part of the squad for years to come.

Last note, for the Cubbies. Ollie and Luis hit the market after 2011 (Big Z not till 2012). This is helpful, actually, because the team looks like it could begin to re-tool/re-build sooner rather than later. Ted Lilly, Derrek Lee, and Xavier Nady are free agents at year’s end. Manager Lou Piniella is only under contract through this year. Aramis Ramirez has a player option for ’11, and a team option for ’12. Kosuke Fukodome hits the market after ’11. Silva has a mutual option for ’12. John Grabow is off the books after ’11 too, while the Cubbies hold a $3mm option on Bob Howry for next season. Moral of the story: the Cubs have lots of guys coming off the books in the next two offseasons, and getting rid of Perez and Castillo then (rather than waiting a year to say goodbye to Zambrano) would give them a bigger budget to start replacing their free agent departures and start piecing together the next team that’ll attempt to get the Cubs one of those WS rings they haven’t seen since ’08…1908 that is.

The Mets get Big Z for his age 29, 30, and 31 seasons: not bad  for dealing two overpaid pieces that aren’t exactly important to the club. If he gets his act together, Zambrano could team up with Johan Santana and Mike Pelfrey to make the playoffs, at the least, interesting. The Cubs can get back to a relatively calm clubhouse, and if Perez pitches like he did once upon a time, he, Ryan Dempster, Carlos Zilva, and hopefully and emerging Jeff Samardzija would make the pitching staff somewhat respectable if the Cubbies made a push in the Central in 2011.

Seems like a win-win to me.